But when she asks, she must believe and not doubt, because she who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. The woman should not think she will receive anything from the Lord; she is a double-minded woman, unstable in all she does.
James 1:6-8
Last week Gwen was sick with a virus we had never heard of before. She had fever for five days straight, and among other symptoms, painful sores in her mouth. She was almost unable to eat anything for the better part of three days. The doctor told us that day 4 of the sores would be the worst and it was. She drank only a couple of glasses of milk. She was miserable. By the time night rolled around, she was so deeply uncomfortable and discouraged that she started to groan.
I was working on the other side of the house and heard these lamenting sounds. I got up to see what it was and went to her room and she looked like she was asleep. Then I went back to work, and a couple of minutes later, I heard it again. This time when I went back, I saw her turning and spoke to her. She was just so miserable.
I pray a lot – every day – but one thing I rarely do, and haven’t done for years, is to pray with Gwen. Just at that moment, I felt I should pray with her and, as intimate as our relationship is, it still took a good measure of courage to open my mouth and pray. I started out slowly, “Heavenly Father…” and as I prayed I realized that because of the import and rarity of this prayer, Gwen would full faith it in. That gave me pause. Do I pray for her healing? What if she is not better in the morning? If God doesn’t answer the prayer, Gwen might begin to doubt the power of prayer. Maybe I should pray a safe prayer. But I didn’t. I prayed a bold prayer that the Creator of that virus might wipe it clean from her system.
She turned over to sleep and for the most part had a restful night. I went back to work, my mind wrestling with doubt. I prayed for God to forgive my doubt and fill me with childlike faith. These verses from James came to mind – I understand the damage that doubt does. It makes me unstable in all that I do.
Gwen’s fever broke that night. But would it have done so anyway? Father, forgive my doubt.
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About donnasmiracleblog
“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.” Psalms 77: 11-14
The memory is a fickle thing. And I’ve got those Alzhiemer genes in my make-up, so maybe more than most, I have a hard time remembering all the wonders God has done in my life. I find the memories escape me particularly when I need them most, in times of discouragement. So I decided I should document my many blessings and the ways God has shown His constant care in my life, and then when I feel discouraged, I can just go to my record and review God’s care of my life and be encouraged.
That’s a nice plan, anyway. I started a calligraphy journal (so I could improve my skills while journaling), but it really just took too long. Then I did nothing for a while… Then I decided I should start a blog so my life’s miracles can encourage other people too.
I wish I had started this about 8 years ago when God began to bring me back to Him. So many things have happened, and if I had them all for others to read, even the most brilliant atheistic mind would have a hard time refuting the hand of God at work. After a few dozen times, it’s just silly to say “and coincidentally…”
I hope that you will feel free to add your miracles to this blog as well. Even if you think of something you want to share that is not at all related to the particular miracle I’m blogging about, post it in the comments section – all miracles are welcome.
There are people who doubt that God works in and among us like he did in the times of the Bible and I have only one thing to say to them: Doubt never has produced a miracle. God rewards our faith, not our doubt. I hope that if you read one of my posts and are skeptical, that you will continue to read, and keep on reading until you understand that what’s going on here is not isolated incidents, but a pattern of God’s constant care, that He has promised in Ps. 112 will make a deep impression on those who see it. If you believe in miracles, you will see the pattern.
And how does a person believe in miracles? It’s just a simple decision to maintain an open mind about the possibility that a higher power could be caring for us. My prayer for you is that you will open your heart to that care.
